This is long, so read when you are bored, or avoiding an unpleasant chore...or not at all

Things I have learned from my darling Russ Russ

1. Oh, so this is love.

I have always loved my parents, siblings, friends and especially Mark, but I never felt this before!

2. Mothering is sufficient, no exceptional, productivity.

Did you ever used to wonder, ‘what is it that moms do all day? Gosh, when I quit my full-time job to be a mom I will be so bored I won’t even know what to do with myself.’

Mothering, without adding any other chores, is exceptional productivity. This I learned quickly, within days. I had all these plans of things I needed to get done, and was immediately wiped out. I found I could not make dinners, clean the house, wash the laundry, because I was nursing, changing diapers and bouncing endlessly.

I remember a few days after my mother left-as if this wasn’t a tragic enough experience- Mark had the nerve of asking me, “What did you do today?” I burst into tears and told him, “I nursed for 8 hours, changed 6 diapers, bounced for three hours”.

If I took a shower it was an accomplishment worth a trophy. All of the above became much easier as time passed and now I sometimes even have time for apartment managing, cooking, cleaning, exercise, and even personal hygiene. Some days I don’t have time for those things, and I still have had a very productive day mothering Russ Russ.

3. Never judge a mother by the tantrum her toddler is throwing in Target.

Wow, is there much more I can say about this one? The public tantrums have begun. I may never shop again.

4. Can I really be this happy?

Just thinking about my baby calms me right down and puts a big smile on my face. I have discovered a new method of self-soothing and it is to look right at Russ Russ. Sometimes, when managing this building makes me crazy, and people have been yelling at me and I feel like my stomach might explode with stress, I stop what I am doing and look at Russell. It calms me instantly. I love that kid so much. Plus I love his daddy even more now. Mmmm

5. Watching your child face rejection, hurts far worse than being rejected yourself.

So, at this point this consists of Russ waving enthusiastically, with a huge smile on his face at an unsuspecting person. It may even be the back of a person. But when they don’t wave back I see his little face confused and disappointed and my heart breaks. Of course he forgets the incident within seconds, thankfully.

6. How to pass the written portion of the driver’s test in a room full of other test-takers, standing, Russ in the bjorn on my chest, him crying, everyone staring, apologizing over and over, two little hands constantly grabbing the pencil I am trying to use to circle answers, bouncing, praying, guessing.

Who needs a license anyway? I am out of here pass or fail. Pass? Really? You sure? Can you just mail it to me?

7. How adored mothers are by their babies.

Russ is especially a mama’s boy. I can’t help but smile every time he runs to me, reaches for me, or says “mom”. I love how complete a baby’s love for their mother is.

8. How to sleep.

Russell and I were sleep trained simultaneously. I have struggled with insomnia since I was a teenager. It came in different waves of my life and involved exhaustion and fatigue coupled with adrenaline, anxious stomach, and an active mind. I would walk, sit or lay around during the day too tired to think or move, then lay wide awake in bed for hours, finally start to drift and BOOM- a tiny noise, my mind explodes, and I am as awake as I could ever be… let’s try again.

Russ was a horrible sleeper as well, waking up every hour, couldn’t put himself to sleep, I don’t know how many hours Mark and I spent bouncing him in a dark room. We would bounce and bounce and bounce until his eyelids finally closed and his breathing became deep. Then we would bounce and bounce some more… just in case. It seems safe, let’s gently put him down, start creeping backwards, on tiptoes out of the room and BOOM- a tiny noise, his mind explodes, and he is awake as he could ever be…let’s try again. But wait, my thighs are burning from bouncing him for the last 20 minutes, I can’t do this again.

A few months post birth, we (baby Russ Russ and myself) were both having frequent meltdown due to sleep deprivation.

If you have talked to me in the last 1.5 years there is a great chance I raved about the book, “Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child” (thank you Julie Roberts, Tiffany Evans and Tara Bekker). To me, Dr. Weissbluth is a genius. I applied everything I learned about sleep to both Russ and myself. I also tried to apply it to Mark who still resists being sleep trained by me. Now, as long as we abide by Dr. Weissbluth’s rules we sleep fabulously. In fact most people are quite astonished by Russell’s sleeping abilities. By the time he was 9 months he was going down by or before 6:00 p.m. and sleeping until 6:30-7:30 a.m. He still keeps this schedule, and NEVER wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s quite glorious, really.

9. I really need other women.

Now more than ever I NEED my best friends, sisters and mom. I need their help, advice and mostly their understanding. Simply talking to another mother is a huge stress relief for me. I am so proud of women, and so proud of my friends, sisters and my own mother. Husbands and daddys you are irreplaceable too, and I love you more than ever as well, but Mark, I have always known how much I need you.

10. Planning.

I have always enjoyed being spontaneous; very easily convinced to do anything out of the ordinary, in the moment. I never thought too much planning was necessary, and I did not like planning and did not plan. Oh boy did that change fast. What time are we going to leave? Let’s leave right when he wakes up from his nap. We better not be out to late, he can have serious meltdowns after bedtime has passed. Do we have a sippy? Food? Diapers? Wipes? Shoes? Toys? Books?

I always thought my spontaneity would carry over into my mothering. I thought my child would sleep anytime, anywhere and be completely happy being taken everywhere. Oh how Russ had other plans. It turns out-please don’t laugh too hard, because I am about to say something a million other mothers have probably told me- babies thrive off of consistency and predictability…especially mine. So, in the last 18 months I have learned to plan; for the sake of myself and especially my son.

11. A woman’s body is incredible.

“Amen” all of our husbands say. Not for those reasons, but because our bodies are so strong and capable. They make babies from tiny little cells and grow them into a fully functioning human being. After they have grown these great big babies, they have to somehow go from the inside of us to the outside of us, and we they do. The baby painfully makes his way out at which point our body feels like it has been ripped to shreds, and suddenly it magically begins making food for our baby to eat. In fact, the only food or water our baby will need for months. I also couldn’t believe how fast I healed after giving birth, and felt ready to have another. No, this is not an announcement.

The end.

This is what I do while I am waiting for my plumbers to show up, so I can hurry up and meet my entire family in Carlsbad. The plumbers are currently 5 hours late. Grrrr