Interview with Lukey on his 9 month birthday

These are all my peeps; Mommy, me Russ Russ and Daddy

The woman in my life

My Daddy and I riding a horse

I=Interviewer

L=Lukey

I: Congratulations on being outside of the belly longer than in!

L: Thank you, I much prefer it.


I: Let's get right to it then. First of all, I can't help but notice you have a great physique. Do you work out?

L: I love working out. I usually just do the basics you know; crawl 10 paces, pull to a stand, 8 bounces, 3 supported steps, repeat.

But, my real workout is something I am almost always doing during my waking hours. Smiling. It may sound simple to you, but have you taken a good look at these babies? I've got 6 pounds of cheek on a 19 pound body. 32% of my body mass in these heavy, soft, hangly, dangly, kissable things. I estimate that with every smile I burn about 50 calories, I must be building up some significant muscle under there.

I: What makes you unique as a baby?

L: I think it is my early ability to say thanks. For example, to let mom know I appreciate her nursing me, I give her a series of continual high fives during each feeding. The high fives begin as soon as I have milk in my mouth, and don't end until I am finished. I can't say the words yet, but she knows I am saying, "Keep up the good work mommy! Nice hustle! Keep it coming! You are an amazing milk supplier."

I am also wise and tough.

I: What do you enjoy?

L: My all time favorite thing is to go running with Russ Russ. I want so desperately to be able to run, but I am not quite there yet, so mommy holds me and runs around chasing Russell, and sometimes he chases us.

I laugh so hard I pee my pants.

And I love dad. To show him my adoration I decided to make, "dada" my first word, and refuse to say, "mama". She is cool too I guess, but dad... he rocks all our socks off.

I love Russ Russ. I kick and squeal and laugh with delight when we see each other in the morning. He is a super cool, nice brother, definitely scary sometimes though.

I love swinging, this also makes me laugh hysterically.

I: Do you have any superpowers?

L: The ears of a hawk when I am supposed to be sleeping, and the escape moves of a ninja when mom is trying to change my diaper.

I: What are you soothed by?

L: I am not easily irritated, but being strapped in an impossible car seat contraption for 10 hours really ticks me off. I get sad, then mad, then really mad and there is only one thing that will calm me down. Not mom sitting by me, singing to me, feeding me, not dad sitting by me, tickling me...The only thing that will soothe me is Lukey's Jam.

Have you heard it? Nelly's,"Only Just a Dream". It is so awesome. No other song will do. Mom and dad turn that tune up real loud, and I calm right down. I can feel the beat in my body, and I get quiet and start to dance. Love that song.

I: If you could have one day to do whatever you wanted, what would you do?

L: This is an easy one. I would spend the entire day in my favorite place...the bathroom. I just can't get enough of it. I crawl in there as fast as these chubby little legs will take me and explore the entire area.

I love sucking the cupboard handles, and I am obsessed with all things that are horribly disgusting like the toilet and toilet brush and even the ground around the toilet. I love squawking as loud as possible and listening to the echo.

Mom almost always shuts the door to the bathroom now. I don't get it. But you better believe if she forgets, I will be in there in a flash.

I: You seem like a great baby.

L: Funny you should say that. I overhear a lot of conversations like this, "Is he a good baby?" then mommy's voice, "He has been a dream" and daddy says, "The kid seriously hardly ever cries". Stranger says, "Yeah, the second baby is always so good. It is because you are so much more relaxed the second time around".

At this point me and mommy and daddy all look at each other and try not to break into hysterical laughter. We know the truth. Those two crazies were anything but relaxed.

I remember how mom crossed her legs real tight when the ninth month approached, and kept telling me I could stay in a couple more weeks if I wanted. Days before I busted out of there (belly) dad kept saying, "back in the trenches" in the voice of a scared little girl.

Rumor has it they were naively confident and a little too relaxed the first time around. They were anything but relaxed about me coming. I saw the clear looks of panic on their faces when Dr. Kahen handed me over and decided to cut them a break. Maybe I will surprise them with some rebellion later on in life, only time will tell.

I: Thanks for your time.

L: Ok then. See you later.