Today I got way too excited about mopping the floors.
My kids gave me a big surprise and napped the afternoon away, leaving me time to really deep clean my kitchen floor. Joy. I was on a high from achieving this and other ordinary housecleaning tasks.
I was truly thrilled about the amazing day I had.
I later spent 15 minutes on the Internet while waiting for Mark to get home. This was enough time to make me realize that other people, specifically the kind that do not stay-home-and-raise-kids-full-time, do more interesting things than I.
And actually, according to my Internet, even most stay-at-home-and-raise-kids-full-time-moms do more interesting things than I.
I was now depressed.
There is something upside-down in finding tremendous self-satisfaction in mopping the kitchen floor. Mopping the floor was something I used to not do because I was too busy doing interesting things.
I have friends with interesting careers, visiting interesting places, doing interesting things and talking to interesting people/adults all day.
There is nothing interesting about Target, the park, the library and the grocery store. Well Trader Joe's is kind of interesting...
Oh no, my world actually consists of our two bedroom apartment, Target, the park, the library and the grocery store.
My life is boring. I am bored.
I told Mark so when he got home and he told me not to have an affair. He wasn't serious. Well, I assume he seriously doesn't want me to, but he wasn't seriously worried about it.
The truth is I always loved working. I always loved school. I always loved being out out out as much as I possibly could. I could have a career. I could spend my extra time traveling to new places, doing entirely new things, seeing new cultures, trying new food.
What would my life have been like if we had waited 5-10 years to have kids?
I would have pursued a career in sports medicine. I would have traveled the world.
I told Mark the 5-10 year thing, and he said we wouldn't have Russell and Luke.
I said that yes we would, just 5 or 10 years later.
He said that no, in fact, that one sperm that made Russell or Luke would be long gone, and Russell and Luke would not exist.
He is right or course, and I really do adore those boys.
So, if you are doing anything interesting soon, invite me. I probably can't come because I will be taking care of my kids. But, invite me.
As an afterthought, boring can be good. I am particularly grateful for our health, Mark's job, friends and family. Just had to put that out there. I don't want the wrong kind of excitement being thrown our way.
Au revoir-
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
#1 - Are you saying that it is not interesting when I type for hours about clean floors? Seriously? That is a problem. I will have to delete that blog post.
#2 - A clean kitchen floor makes me feel like a million dollars. Oh, heavenly. It makes me not grumpy and THAT is an accomplishment.
#3 - President Eyring says that you can feel the Spirit and be "magnifying" whenever you actually do what is part of your priesthood calling. My priesthood calling may include changing diarrhea diapers and sweeping 3 times daily, but that means I can feel the Spirit doing those things. And I can feel magnified and interesting.
# 4 - The biggest secret ever is that staying home gives me so much more time to do the interesting things I wanted to do than any of those people who have to go work. Justin can't even read a book he wants. So dig out that secret something that's been waiting in the depths of your soul - and do it. Even if it's only for 20 minutes every morning (before you sweep the floor).
# 5 - Totally feel your pain. Seriously. Especially in the sucky month of January.
You are incredibly interesting, as are your boys! And remember that a lot of those people off doing "interesting" things actually wish they could have the life with a loving husband and beautiful little boys like you!
I for one wish I could have kids right now. Sadly God keeps telling me "not now." But oh how hard it is to wait and do all these other things in the meantime!
I was walking by your apartment the other day to get something real quick from the Gibby's and your apartment smelled so good and there was laughter inside and I thought, I wanna knock on her door and see what is so funny and what smells so good....but I thought I didn't want to bother you.....sorry....I feel this same way you do....a lot! We should get together and have a pity party and then count our blessings or something.
Post a Comment