Yesterday I had the audacity to take my kids to Target.

Yesterday I had the audacity to go to Target with my kids. Why would one ever do such a thing? Well, the three of us have been running errands together for 18 months now, without too much trouble, but lately trouble has commenced. Or should I say, Lukey has commenced. Everything went relatively smooth for the first 60 seconds, at which point Lukey began to get a little fussy. Let me paint a picture of Lukey being “a little fussy” lately; screaming, writhing his body, and slamming his head into anything he can. If there is nothing available for him to slam his head into, he hits it with his chubby hands.


As I was saying, Lukey began writhing, screaming and slamming his head into the cart because he wanted to get down, so I grabbed a toy for him to play with, and started collecting groceries fast.

Russell was running around behind me asking, “What do tigers eat? Why? Why? Why?”

Eventually I got stuck, “I don’t know”.

“Tell me! Tell me!” he yelled frantically.

We were walking through, I was grabbing things we needed; bananas, bread, salsa, milk. Lukey was grabbing anything and everything he could reach and throwing it on the ground behind us. I was picking up some things, and leaving others in a trail behind us. Don’t judge me, my belly is getting big and bending all the way down to the ground is really difficult.

I stopped to look at the shoes because Russ desperately needs a bigger pair. Lukey started his little tantrum again, and I gave in. I placed him on the ground. He started running around throwing shoes and shoe boxes everywhere.

Okay, sorry Russell, we are not getting shoes today. Lukey got picked up, he screamed, and bonked his forehead into the cart. Maybe the back of the cart would be more enjoyable for him.

I stuck him in the back, started putting shoes back on the shelf, look up at Lukey to see he has stomped and sat on our two loaves of bread, bitten into a couple of bananas and notice that he and every other item in the cart is covered in yogurt.

Why did I leave my wipes in the car?!?

People were staring, or maybe they were not. I was too embarrassed to look up and see if there was disapproval in the eyes of fellow target-goers as they watched the pregnant woman with a 3-year-old, a cart full of destroyed groceries and a yogurt covered toddler hitting his head on the cart.

It was one of those parenting moments where you desperately pray to melt into the Target tile and wake up a couple of days later in your bed. One of those stressful moments that by the time you get everything and everyone back inside your home you have almost forgotten the episode even occurred, because it is not the first time people have stared at you, or your kids have been covered in yogurt.

But, today I was rewarded with a trip to my OB without Russ and Luke. Did you read that? Without Russell and Luke! It was a mini vacation. Peeing in a cup was so much more enjoyable without Russ trying to see what the heck I was doing, and Luke, trying to splash in the toilet, pulling down feet of toilet paper and spreading it around the bathroom, and trying to stick his hands in the toilet again and again.

This also happened to be my glucose screening test -when they make you come in and drink that nasty orange sugar water, wait for an hour and then take your blood- which means I had an entire hour to have a nice chat with my doctor, and sit and read. It was pure relaxation. And, as an additional bonus it was discovered that my belly is now only measuring one week early, as opposed to four.



What is with Lukey though?

Mark and I have seriously watched in awe lately as our incredibly easy, patient and peaceful baby has transformed into a demanding toddler with the emotional range that rivals his mama on birth control, or a woman going through menopause. Lukey Lukey Lukey! It is a good thing your cheeks are so chubby and soft and you give us really cute kisses.