Joshy update

 I am sitting here in a chair at the hospital looking at my beautiful twelve day old Joshua. He is lying on his back, sleeping peacefully in his crib with tubes in his nose, wires on his chest and cords on his feet. In my motherly opinion I think he is the most brave, most charming and most gorgeous little baby in the world. The nurses and doctors keep reaffirming this notion by constantly telling me how cute he is.


Yesterday morning my mom and I looked at his umbilical stump, which was bleeding and infected looking and grimaced. “That doesn’t look normal. Maybe we should call the pediatrician.”

Our pediatrician was out for the weekend, but his partner said to bring him in.

The umbilical area was treated, I was told to keep an eye on it, and home we went.

Around 2:00 Joshy’s breath was labored, and he was coughing and gagging on phlegm.

“That doesn’t sound normal. Maybe we should call the pediatrician.”

“Hi, I brought my baby in this morning, this is my third baby, and I swear I am not an overly paranoid mother, but…”

I was told to bring him in again, and after a ten minute examination the pediatrician told me I needed to head immediately over to the emergency room at Primary Children’s Hospital. Joshy was sick, having trouble breathing and needed immediate care. It could not wait until the evening. He said he would call the hospital right away and tell them I was on my way.

I was brave, but as I passed the receptionist on my way out, and saw the look of horrible pity in her eyes as she said quietly, “Good luck”, I started to cry.

I held this baby inside for nine months, and I loved him. But in the last eleven days I had fallen wholly and irreversibly in love with him. I held him close, adored his amazing little cleft chin, pronounced nose, chubby cheeks, long toes. I had watched my husband and boys adore their, “new baby”. Nothing could happen to this little angel.

I was relieved when after the third call Mark answered and said he would meet me at the hospital. I need him to be my side. He is my partner and my love and my strength.

We were admitted yesterday afternoon. Back in the hospital on the day he was officially “due”.

Joshua has a virus and bronchiolitis. His little body is having a hard time getting enough oxygen because of the mucus in his nose and his enflamed bronchioles. We have been blessed that he has not yet developed any fever, and is still nursing well and staying hydrated. Because of this he has avoided having an i.v, spinal tap and antibiotics. We pray he does not develop a fever and continues to nurse. They have been trying to wean him off of his oxygen, but he has not been able to maintain healthy levels on his own yet.

Because the symptoms of most of these viruses get worse over the first 5-7 days, before getting better, we will most likely be here at least a couple of days. Considering his age and sickness, I think he is doing very well.

I always know I love my little family, but events like this make the love I feel for Mark, Russ Russ, Lukey and Joshua so acute. These boys make my life so rich and meaningful and filled with love. Say a prayer for Joshy. Hopefully we will be home and healthy very soon.